Sex can be a scary thing. …I’m not
talking about the act of sex, because as a celibate, I wouldn’t know. But the
pervasion of sex in our culture can feel a bit horrific. TV shows and ads,
movies, music, politics, comedy, academics… You name it. Christians hurdle
through a dodge ball game of sexuality on a daily basis. But there’s one time
and place where we’re not likely to hear anything about it: Sundays at church.
Cue sighs of relief. At church we can pretend like the world has rewound itself
to the Victorian period. No sketchiness, no need to comprehensively examine the
carpet fibers because we weren’t put in charge of the remote, just an asexual
wonderland.
The church definitely needs to be
oil rather than a sponge amidst the waves of our sex-saturated society. And
there are certainly a lot of forces that would like to emulsify that barrier. It’s
not wrong to yearn for wholeness. It’s not idiotic for parents to desire innocence
for their children until the kids reach appropriate emotional maturation. But if
Christians want to be salt and light to the world around them, we must have
answers for every issue. We need to know how to deal with all kinds of
brokenness and how to respond with grace.
Though the church may prefer to
stay silent on the topic, we have been thrashed by the ubiquitous status of
sexuality among our peers, at school and work, and every form of media. For
some of us, we may feel a disconnect between our sexuality and faith. Many
Christians have embraced alternative sexual perspectives that either compartmentalizes
these seemingly opposing desires, or we come up with our own theology of sex
that disregards the precedence of scripture. The new television show GCB
portrays legalistic Christians who have very messed up views on practical
theology, namely their sexuality. As ridiculous as the show certainly is, I
wouldn’t be surprised if a multitude of Western Christians resonate with the
experiences of this series. For many, like the characters of GCB, church and
God establish a cultural identity, particularly where I live in the south. But
a huge disintegration of belief and practice runs rampant when we don’t care to
listen to God or be transformed by His Word.
I certainly have no desire to be
judgmental and unloving towards anyone, but we who self-identify as Christian
should be fully aware of biblical sexual ethics and do our best to live up to
them with God’s help. There is abundant grace for transgressors, but also a
call to abandon the sin we crave that rivals the richer pleasures of our loving
Father.
I love to talk about sex. It’s my
favorite subject in psychology and one of the areas I would love to specialize in as
a psychologist. Considering how conservative I am, weird is likely an
understatement. But the subject of sexuality doesn’t scare me. Sexuality means
a lot of things to different people; it’s far more than the sacred act of
intercourse in marriage or the broken behaviors outside of marriage. Sexuality
affects culture and the church, and Christians must be willing to engage the
subject gracefully. God called us to change the world, not to be Victorian
prudes. Scripture makes it clear we are more than our sexuality, as I pointed
out in my last blog posting. We shouldn’t be defined by sex. But we are sexual
beings nonetheless, in need of intimacy and community. We must find the
appropriate balance in our churches to answer the important questions. And I
assure you, the questions are there. If we as the church refuse to proclaim and
constructively dialogue God’s theology of sex, secular culture will provide its
own answers. It does not share the church’s fear or feelings of discomfort on
the topic. So let’s talk.
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